Broken
by FirePheonix15
Summary: [ONE-SHOT] When Rose is injured in battle, the Doctor is faced with an impossible decision. He can give her a medication that, while it would save her life, would wipe her memories; Rose would forget him. Time is running out and the Doctor must choose: save her life, but loose her forever; or, do nothing and watch her die. And when he finally decides, will Rose cooperate?


"_Rose_!"

The heart-shattering scream woke Rose. Her head was foggy and her eyes were clouded. She moaned.

The blurred face of the Doctor appeared over her. That's when Rose realized she was lying on her back. Her jacket must have fallen off; her back was exposed to the cold concrete and she shivered.

"Someone, help!" The Doctor stood, and he was soon out of Rose's vision. "Anybody! _Help me_!" His yells were enough to break apart a universe; she'd never thought he'd let so much heartbreak through to the surface.

She heard the Doctor talking to somebody else, a distance away. "She was fighting… I told her to stay inside but she didn't listen… There was an electromagnetic bomb…"

"Doctor…" Rose whispered, extending a weak hand. The very motion sent a bolt of pain through her arm.

The Doctor's head spun, and the next thing Rose knew, she was up in his arms. He was running, he was running _so fast_, and her head pounded, and the world was blurry, but she was able to make out fire and ash and what looked like a planet at war.

It seemed like he was running for ages; with each step, the pain magnified inside of her. Helplessness and suffering were two very different beasts; and right now, they were both clawing inside of her, fighting for dominance. Soon, she felt, they would swallow her whole.

Blackness covered the edge of her vision, and Rose felt herself loosing consciousness. A sharp ringing infiltrated her ears; she felt the Doctor's chest rise and fall, so she knew he was saying something—screaming, more likely—but she couldn't hear. She coughed, meekly, as a way to grab his attention. The Doctor was speaking to her, looking directly at her; she read his lips. He was repeating the same few words, over and over.

"Don't you give up on me, Rose Tyler."

Then everything went dark.

At first, Rose thought she was hallucinating. She heard whimpering sounds, and a memory emerged to the surface of her mind. She was about seven years old, and her mum had taken her to a playground. They had spent the afternoon with Jackie pushing Rose on the swing, Rose giggling with glee. Then, there was the screeching of tires, and a horrible crying emerged. "Oh my god! I think he hit someone!" her mother was worried; little Rose sensed that in Jackie's tone. Jackie set off to inspect the scene, instructing Rose to stay put. Rose wished now that she had listened to her mother; instead, she followed. A big SUV had hit a puppy. The whimpering sounds that the dog let out was worse than the blood. The sound made seven-year-old Rose burst into tears.

Now, the same noise erupted from nearby. But as she opened her eyes, Rose realized: the source of the whimpering wasn't an injured puppy; instead, it was the Doctor.

_It was the Doctor._

Rose sat up to look at him. The action caused her to cry out in pain. She tried to muffle the squeak. The Doctor had his head in his hands, his shoulders violently quivering from the sobs. He looked up, and his cheeks were wet. His whole face was covered in bloody scratches. He swallowed his sobs. "Isn't there anything else? Can't you do something?" He wasn't looking at her. There was another person in the room. No… she wasn't in a room. More like a tent. She was lying on a very uncomfortable cot. The sound of gunfire and explosions surrounded them. Rose turned to see who the Doctor was talking to. She looked like… A _doctor._ A "hello-just-let-me-measure-you-and-listen-to-your-heart" doctor. She had short, red hair that barely reached her ears. She wore spectacles that fell to the crook of her nose. She must've been forty, but she looked about sixty. Of course, she was an alien, so that could mean she was 40,000.

"I can do one thing," the _female_ doctor (Rose's head hurt from all of the doctors) said. "I can make _her_ lie down." She pointed a bony finger at Rose.

The Doctor's big, brown, puppy-dog-eyes widened at the sight of her. His lips formed words but nothing came out. He just tackled her; his sturdy arms wrapping around her and slamming her back down to the cot. He sobbed into Rose's shoulder. Rose groaned.

The Doctor (this time, talking about the two-hearted alien Time Lord) straightened up. He kneeled next to Rose. "I'm okay," she said.

That's when the world began to spin and she felt blood flowing. It was coming from her stomach, she had forgotten about the wound there. She began to cough violently. The Time Lord was shouting loudly, and suddenly there were five more nurses tending to Rose.

A sour taste filled her mouth. Rose panicked before she noticed the bottle that the Doctor held to her lips. Rose jerked away. She spit out the liquid; it was vile.

Tears streamed down the Doctor's face. "Please, Rose." He smiled sadly, "You've gotta drink this, yeah?"

Rose shook her head. "I don't want to." Her protest was meek. It was like she was a kid again, with her mother trying to force down the inaccurately flavoured cough syrup.

Two of the nurses began talking. The Doctor tried to cover Rose's ears, but Rose overheard.

"_She's never going to drink it. Not if she knows what it really does."_

"_That one's stubborn; I can tell."_

"_The Time Lord's really attached to her, isn't he?"_

"_Yeah, which makes this whole scenario even worse. After taking that potion, she won't even remember his name."_

Rose's head spun. "Doctor," her bottom lip quivered. "What…what are they—"

"Rose, there isn't much time. Drink the medicine."

"No! What's going on?"

"Rose—"

"No!"

The Doctor's words came out at a mile a minute. "Rose, you either drink the liquid or you die. You fought this battle and you were injured. I am not loosing you. Drink it. The medicine has a side effect of causing a permanent state of amnesia from a certain point onward. Come on, Rose, you have to drink it!"

"_What_?" Rose pushed him away.

"Your hippocampus growth and storage of memory will be set back a few years."

_After taking that potion, she won't even remember his name._

Rose's breathing increased. He wouldn't. He couldn't. The potion would save her life, yeah, but it would ruin her life as well. She would live, but she wouldn't remember her life with him. Or, she would die, leaving the Doctor to be… Rose didn't want to use the word _broken, _because he wouldn't be. He'd move on, find somebody else to travel with…

Oh, how badly Rose wanted that to be true.

But looking at his wet cheeks and his pleading expression, Rose knew otherwise.

If she died, a part of him would, too.

She felt herself weakening. The Doctor forced another mouthful of the medicine down her throat. After a few more minutes of drinking down the sour liquid, Rose realized what was about to happen.

She thrashed around in the cot, keeping her mouth shut. She wouldn't take any more of that vile medication. The Doctor pulled the bottle away and placed a warm hand on her cheek. "Please. I don't…. I can't let you die."

Rose let out a strangled sob. She could feel the hot tears spilling out over her cheeks. "I don't want to live my life without you."

The Doctor smiled, just a little. "And I don't want to live without you, either. But there isn't another choice. Trust me, okay? It'll be easier for me to know that you're safe and happy and amnesiac than to have to live with the grief…"

Rose shook her head. She was sobbing now. "Please, please don't make me drink it. I love you. Don't. Don't make me forget. _I don't want to forget_!"

She knew him enough to know that he was fighting. He was trying to hold back the tears and trying to hide his emotions but she knew. She knew he was shattering inside.

"There isn't any other way."

Rose coughed and struggled for breath. She wished she hadn't.

The Doctor pushed the bottle up to her lips. "I love you I love you I love you I love I love you Rose Tyler I love you."

She continued to struggle. Rose was not going to drink the potion. Rose Tyler was not going to forget the cheery little man who grabbed her hand and whispered, "Run." Rose Tyler was not going to forget the little blue box that was bigger on the inside. Rose Tyler was not going to forget the explosion of yellow light that meant the Doctor had changed his face. Rose Tyler was not going to forget the all the aliens and all the planets she had seen. Rose Tyler was not going to forget all of the times they almost died for each other. Rose Tyler was not going to forget the love of her life.

Rose Tyler was not going to forget the Doctor.

He was desperate now. Rose knew she was dying; she could feel it. The Doctor was muttering incoherently; his sentences were just a combination of the words, "I love you," "Please," and "Drink it, Rose."

Rose leaned up and took his face in her hands. Her lips touched his, lightly, and he leaned down and kissed her. The kiss was soft and gentle, full of sadness and love and compassion. Rose cried. She was going to miss this. She loved him, he loved her, and of course he tells her this two minutes before she forgets him forever.

"Can I… Can I do it myself?" Rose choked.

"Of course." The Doctor handed her the bottle.

Rose raised it to her mouth. She was minutes away from death. The Doctor squeezed her hand.

"I love you," she said, rushing to get the words out. They didn't have much time. "I always have, and I always will. The last two years of my life have been _fantastic_. You… Doctor, I just…." She sighed. "You'll be okay."

The Doctor nodded.

"I love you, my Doctor. That's why I am so so sorry."

The Doctor looked puzzled for a minute. When he figured out what she was about to do, his eyes grew wide. She kissed him, stopping his protest.

She could feel her systems shutting down. Her injuries were bad; she doubted even the medicine could save her now. Rose kissed the Doctor, the man she loved.

She let her fingers go slack as they released the bottle.

The last sounds she heard were the shattering of glass and the Doctor's heartbroken cries.


End file.
